Being a Residence Hall Director

What is it like to live in a residence hall at a college full of college students and raising a family - not easy! But, over the last twenty years of life and the entire eighteen years of my marriage my wife and our three kids have lived in residence halls and I believe that the experience will benefit my children for the rest of their lives. We have lived with students from around the world, any number of religious affiliations, sexual orientations, and a wide array of learning disabilities. The experience is one which has shaped my life profoundly and continues to do so each and every day.

I have worked with students through the first gulf war, the California fires, midwestern tornadoes, 9-11, Katrina, family deaths and family births. I have had two of my residents die and many of my residents have moved on to marry and raise families of their own. Many of my colleagues have moved on to dean ships and administrative positions at other colleges while I stay here working with my students. Over my time in the halls I have probably been intricately involved in the saving of a dozen lives in emergency situations and hopefully countless more from my efforts on a day to day basis. I have no illusions about what I do, I feel I am like a park ranger that tries to show where the good trails are, the tougher trails, and the really dangerous trails. It shocks me when I look back and think of all the lives that have impacted me and can only hope that I have impacted some of them the same way.

A Year Of Change

Over the past year and a half of my life I have learned that there is more to that life than trying be good at your job. After my father's death five or so years ago I lost track of the importance of myself, my wife, and my family probably in some need to please a now deceased dad. Then a year and a half ago my wife let me know what I had become - some sort of ogre seeking work perfection for too many that did not appreciate nor understand my efforts and doing at a cost of everything else in my life. That moment of stark reality shocked me into an evolution in my life to let go of my fears, enjoy my life, and realize that work is work. Those of us in professions that take care of others have the greatest difficulty in my opinion of letting go of the job when we go home at night. As a coach, a teacher, and a hall director I was living for others and not the others that were most important to me. Today, I am on a road that has led to a much better approach to each and every day creating new and far stronger ties with my children and a redeveloping relationship with my wife. I have never been self focused and hope to one day include myself with greater emphasis in this evolution.

There are moments in our lives when we have clear choices with possibly even clearer consequences and making the healthy choice is never that simple. It has been a really difficult year for me and at times I did not think I could do it - but here I am. I hope to get to the next phase which is just being Mr. Happy -Go-Lucky again but who knows when that will happen. Some day I know that the comfort I enjoyed for so long in just being me will return with a joy and happiness that I have not felt for some time. Until then feeling better about every day and seeing the change in my family dynamic is everything. Now if I can just win that lottery!

A dad's council

Just saw this report on a father who found out that he has cancewr and got six of friends together to be a council of dads for his twin three old daughters. At first I must admit I welled up with tears over the beauty of this effort and the way in which the father had appeared to cover every aspect of his personality to enhance his daughter's life after he is gone. As a parent I immediately identified with this man's desire for his children but, then I had a negative thought about what is and should be viewed upon as a wondrous gift. Call it synicism but I then thought two concepts that detracted from this approach. the first was that he was really making him self into a legend with the council constantly recounting the exploits of dear old dad and his short comings almost being sinful to bring up. He had entered into a process that in some form would canonize him to these daughters. Secondly, I believe that some of my dad's were qualities helped form the person I am today and felt that this process with all of its fantastic qualities would not give them some of the toughness in the future that they may need. I hope by seeing me in all of my frailities and roughness that my children will learn both the correct and incorrect ways I have handle life.
After, thinking about this I came down on the side that doing this was brilliant and to a degree self serving. My synical side has ashamedly drifted back into the deep dark respites of my soul and a tear is once again allowed to well up. I admire this man and what appears to be his efforts to make sure his daughter's lives fuller, more wondrous, and loving. I do not know if seeing the negative in such a glorious idea that he is lecturing on and wrote a book about is a character flaw or just seeing the world through regular eye glasses. Let me know what you think.

Fuddruckers Review

This will be the first of hopefully many restaurant reviews from this writer. Let me begin by saying the vast majority of these reviews will be of non-linen table cloth establishments. I would be happy to follow Gut Fieri's path through "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives" but will try to spice in a bit of variety along the way. I should also say that I love food and that I am easily pleased. All, I want is good food, good service all for a good price.
To start with I would like to review Fuddruckers. This is a fun place for adults and kids. The day we went to the location on Route 1 North in Saugus, Mass. the sweet sixteen games of March Madness were on a big screen TV and that was enough for me. Fuddruckers offers burgers, dogs, chicken, a rib eye sandwich, and as we found out great salads. Here is the special stuff about Fuddruckers: homemade buns, 1/3-1/2-to 1 pound burgers, and toppings bar with all you want to have from the offerings. I found Fuddruckers food to be exceptional. I had the rib eye sandwich, a Pearl hot dog and super good fries. I also took a side order of pickles from the toppings bar. My wife had an exceptional salad with some of the freshest veggies I have seen in a long time. My kids were all satisfies with burgers and chicken sandwiches, and chicken tenders. I thought the workers were really polite and the people were constantly keeping the place clean. Overall the price was fair for great food and we left not just satisfied but really pleased with our choice. Go and enjoy!

Why Are We So Polarized

Why is our country so polarized today? Why does a member of congress yell "liar" towards the president of the United States during his state of the union speech? Is it the evaporation of truly investigative newspapers that were trusted by almost all Americans. Is it the growth of truly partisan news channels that both offer up virtually unfetered lies as fact? Is it a natural disintegration of our antiquated two party system? Is it a natural reaction to a country at war as we saw during the sixties?I am unsure if any or all of these are true factors of the grotesque turn our political system and our culture in this country have taken over the past decade. I am almost fifty years old and have determined that the growth of the electronic device which I am currently writing this piece on - the computer. To be more specific the electronic explosion where free speech has taken on new meanings and led to the growth of both apathy and the lack of factual evidence needed in what one puts forth in writing.

One of the proudest moments I have had as a father was last week when my daughter stayed up on her own to watch the Health Care debate and vote on C-span. Then she came in to talk with me about why every republican voted against legislation that would provide health care to thirty-two million Americans. Her dad had no real answers except that they were playing politics with people's lives. It is a sad day for America when instead of discourse and dialogue we have threats and lies. This is not the America that produces the New Deal and LBJ's civil rights legislation. But, if this bill is given a chance to survive then it will be the most important Civil Rights legislation of this generation and my daughter will be able to say she stayed up to watch just like her dad did when man landed on the moon.

Why Do We Have to Wait Four Years for the Olympics?

After the last two weeks of elation and heart aches one must wonder why we must wait for four years for the next show. The real question may be why can't we coordinate and build up the world championships better so that athletes that don't hit the four year schedule but are still wondeful stars get their world stage. I have been mesmerized by everything from the Aerials to curling but some of that magic is never being able to see thses sports except at the Olympic games. While mid season sleeper games from the NBA, NFL ,NHL, and MLB have constant stages for their performances I don't get to see the luge unless I scower the sub sport channles for hours. For once I do not believe it is money because the sponsors of those sports would love the exposure. In four years the games will be in Russia which means to watch the smaller sports I will have to stay up until 2:00 am and hope that MSNBC carries the Biathalon. I guess I am caught up in the nationalism, the sportsmanship (except for that Russian male figure skater) and yes the glory of the games. In my life some of the most signature moments that I remember from sports have come from the Olympics. Ofcourse, the 1980 Hockey, Joan Benoit Samuels the first woman marathon winner, Dave Waddle, The Munich tragedy balanced with Olga Kprbut, Dorothy Hammill, the Dream team, Shaun White's hurricane, and all of that curling. I want more moments like that and wish that I did not have to wait two years for the summer or four more years for the winter games.

Bad refereeing

I have been a coach for twenty years at the college level. Over twenty years of coaching basketball, (men's and women's), softball, and baseball I have witnessed the disintegration of officiating in thses sports. This is particularly clear in basketball. In our society those that argue with officiating are seen as aggressive, over bearing, and complainers. Let me be clear that in twenty years of coaching I have received seven technical fouls and not one was caused by a swear word. I have never been thrown out of or even warned in baseball or softball. Therefore, with this record I believe that I gain some credibility in my critique of the erosion of refereeing. I have three athletic children and with the exception of soccer I have seen the same issues at sub-college levels of athletics as well. My question is what is a coach to do? Especially, when you coach at the small college level in rural Vermont, New Hampshire, and Western Massachusetts? Over the last couple of years there has been a significant drop in not only the level of skill but also the tolerance shown byofficials when a disagreement occurs. I have actually received technicals in the last year for saying a call is "bogus" and " ridiculous" after repeatedly feeling as though calls were bungled and bit my tongue. I also have found that trying to ask a question about a call is taken as an afront. Good referees explain calls, answer questions, and are clear and consistent with the way the call a game. I just coached in a tournament and (for those of you that know basketball this will be easier understood) my team played zone for the whole game and the opposition played man and we shot eleven foul shots and the other team went to the line thirty-two times. Both teams shot about the same percentage and my team was outscored by nineteen points in a game that we lost in overtime. Thanks, for reading and i welcome your feedback unlike most referees.
JEWOOD